Reaching out...
sikkbones

I am reaching out and wondering if it's possible you might be creeping this blog instead of the other one i have kept hidden all these years... I am concerned and broken and If i can't function with everything inside my head currently I  cannot imagine how the two of you are dealing with this... I am here if you need me, always have been always will be...I have barely made it thru the week and can only gues how you guys are doing... I am under a very dark cloud and all i want to do right now is hold you both, comfort you both and tell you everything is going to be ok.. I wish I could do that... that's all I want to do.. there's no anger here, none of it from me... the past is the past... this is about family.. and forever.. that's what both of you are two me.. regardless of the tribulations.

ghosts!
sikkbones
call_of_duty___ghosts___cleaned_poster_hd_v2_by_muusedesign-d63mgorI see that you're gone completely... agian, out my life... that's fine I'm used to that. i had a little victory from the place we shared the good memories and the people i kept in touch with. If you see this I did think of you today but the reality is only one little person matters and today was a huge victory in that direction.

Whatever...
sikkbones
i miss you being my freind. period.







The things a man has to have are hope and confidence in himself against odds, and sometimes he needs somebody, his pal or his mother or his wife or God, to give him that confidence. He's got to have some inner standards worth fighting for or there won't be any way to bring him into conflict. And he must be ready to choose death before dishonor without making too much song and dance about it. That's all there is to it.

A couple of Quotes you should think deeply about.
sikkbones
When I needed you most when I needed a friend, you let me down now like I let you down then

Never explain yourself. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it.




Crucified Immortals.
sikkbones

the darkness inside of me and the Hate and anger is a part of me... it's what drives me.. it's something you could never understand... now it's the only thing i have to cling to... as my world is crumbling due to the actions of another... my heart and soul stolen.... and you know exactly what i mean.. and exactly what was taken.....everything....everything i am is gone...and you are another distant connection i have willingly walked away and away from agian and agian.... there is a reason i ran away to windsor and never looked back.... at least in windsor it's a world away and the system can't shackle and crucify me to be exactly what the planned for me.... for years i pretended i didn't have a past... and then one person decides she's going to use the knowledge and the half truths about what she knows about me to destroy me.... no judge, no jury, no conviction in a court of law.... just words.... her lies... and i'm dead inside..... there's nothing left of me... except that hate and anger i cling too....maybe if the knife hadn't dulled over the years...maybe if i had been a stone cold rock and not let people in like the original plan... i would be in a better place.... maybe i would be dead... maybe everything has afucking reason and this is a learning experince.... all i know... is my biggest support, my best freind is there... just like he has been since '99.. always believing in me....everything about me is chipping away.... and there's no rock underneath.. not anymore.... i don't know who i am anymore... everything i used to define myself by.. gone....maybe you will read this maybe you won't.. but it needed to be said... someone asked me a while ago if i had any regrets.... i said one.......but i have No remorse, my life is what it has become... and i am still in control of my destiny.... i am not going anywhere...and i am going to end up a more militant critic of the system, I am going to become the voice of the voiceless... when this is all said and done and i am eventually vindicated... there is going to be a paradigm shift.

There are no absolutes in human misery and things can always get worse.

terminators and souls.
sikkbones


 

 

 

 

In the opening credits of Terminator 2: Judgment Day we see the future of the machine victory over humanity and the terminators followed by Sarah Connor’s (Linda Hamilton) narration of the scene. We again see this vision of an apocalyptic future through Sarah’s eyes halfway through the movie. Is it an accurate reflection of the future as it was told to the Sarah Connor character or has Sarah Connor made this her own personal vision of tomorrow’s reality? Sarah Connor I feel is without knowing the total facts of her future and destiny. I feel that her having these visions from her own mind on the screen are a deliberate intention by the director, James Cameron, to describe the future for us... but not for her.

 

In the allegory of the cave, Plato shows us both reality and the appearance of one’s reality. The latter is represented as an underground cave where children are chained until adulthood facing a wall where shadows are the only thing visible of the world outside. Moving objects that can be perceived to be real. The allegory of the cave indicates the progressive movement from this to what is the truly real and what is imagined and recounts the difficulty one would have leaving the imaginary world forced upon them and the one true reality and knowing the difference Deutsch,300.

Sarah Conner exists in both 1991 (present reality in the film) and, in her head at least in the 2029 post apocalyptic future she envisions within her head. In this future she sees herself as her adult son leading the resistance against the machines. Is she delusional? According to today’s expert medical professionals she would seem to be. I mean someone who has had an experience of the future? Insanity at worst, schizophrenia at best. She believes that it will happen, so it must. She is institutionalized in the movie verifying the delusional hypothesis, but then again don’t we jail or other otherwise crucify all of our prophets? There is no proof of the original terminator’s existence or is there? It makes the delusional state a formidable hypothesis. While Sarah Connors symptoms are being described we cut away to a shot of the original terminators arm and microchip at Cyber dyne Inc. we indeed see that there was a cover-up and that the original terminator parts still exist.

 

Once sent to kill Sarah Connor in the past, and now returning to save the life of John Connor (Edward Furlong), the original terminator model is sent this time by john Connor 2029 to save himself in the present, and prevent his assassination as a youth. The T-101 android (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is sent back to prevent the T-1000 (Robert Patrick) from achieving the goal of john’s death. I find the Christ comparisons in the movie are heavy as both the terminator and john Connor embody the idea of a Jesus Christ. The terminator once a symbol of evil has been resurrected from seeming death to save the world that will be destroyed by his maker. John Conner, the future leader of Humanity, cursed with this destiny from birth. Savior complex anyone? The terminator is in my opinion the reflection of Nietzsche’s will to power. We created the machine, we gave it life. Both John Connor and the Terminator reflect Nietzsche’s Overman concept. Der Ubermensch represents the triumph of the will, the death of god (or in this case man) and eternal recurrence palmer, 277. How do both the terminator and the leader of tomorrow’s human resistance against the machine represent the Overman and the death of god?

The terminator is the pinnacle of human achievement. Organic skin over an electronic endo-skeleton with advanced artificial intelligence. If even one of these things could be achieved we could make the crippled walk or assist people with major mental impairments able to function with more meaningful lives. Of course this will not happen. The Overman being the triumph of man’s will only allows for such ideas to be initially used as something benefiting humanity. Before any altruistic intentions are made with this new technology when it begins to exist… that the first cybernetic organism will be used on the war field. The terminator as Overman concept also represents the death of god and eternal recurrence as the machines have now become the sentient. They have evolved into a life form higher than man if not equal to. Which begs the question how does this new life incorporate a god or their maker that they have destroyed or would they acknowledge any type of maker at all?

John Connor brings the machines down with his rebellion formed of the remains of humanity. Is this truly the triumph of the will? Is humanity destined to survive against all odds and against its own superior creation? Will the destruction or abandonment of machines lead us back to the dark ages or will we adapt with another way of thinking? Is it in man’s destiny to somehow someday destroy itself? Is Der Ubermensh’s ultimate destiny to destroy itself? Sarah Connor makes the following comment to Miles Dyson halfway thru the movie: “Yeah. Right. How were you supposed to know?

Fucking men... all you know how to do is thrust

into the world with your... fucking ideas and

your weapons. Did you know that every gun in

the world is named after a man? Colt, Browning,

Smith, Thompson, Kalashnikov... all men. Men

built the hydrogen bomb, not women... men like

you thought it up. You're so creative. You

don't know what it's like to really create

something... to create a life. To feel it growing

inside you. All you know how to create is

death... you fucking bastards.”

 

About what men create while drawing a comparison of what the real reality of creating a life is? Men cannot and do not have the capacity or the power for this. Only women do. We overcompensate for this by building bigger and better things, inventing things, weapons scientific advancements and going to war. Men create death while women have the power to create life. But when is it too much advancement? When have we doomed ourselves to eventual extinction? Is the pursuit of technology and perfection what ultimately dooms humanity?

 

Can a machine learn and feel? Can we build something that will one day understand human emotion? Is a machine even possible of having a soul? We are at every moment conscious of what we call our self, but self is not just one impression but one which we reference to others Duetsch, 49. The terminator is aware of its own sense of self. Does this the machine a person? At the end of the movie the terminator understands emotion; does this make the T-101 human?

Terminator: I have to go away, John. It must end here... or I am the

future.

The human side of his face is in shadow, so we see mostly the chrome

skull and the red eye.

John Don't do it. Please... don't go--

Terminator puts his hand on John's shoulder. He moves slightly and the

human side of his face comes into the light. He reaches toward John's

face. His metal finger touches the tear trickling down his cheek.

Terminator I know now why you cry, though it is something I can

never do. (to both of them) Goodbye.

SARA Are you afraid?

Terminator Yes.

He turns and steps off the edge.

They watch him sink into the lava.

He disappears... the metal hand sinking last... at the last second

it forms into a fist with the thumb extended... a final thumbs up. Then

it is gone.

 

 

Does the choice of self sacrifice end up being what truly makes the T-101 human and someone/something worthy of love from the young John Conner?


If I Was Your Vampire
sikkbones


6 a.m. Christmas morning.
No shadows,
No reflections here.
Lying cheek to cheek
In your cold embrace.

So soft and so tragic
As a slaughterhouse.
You press the knife
Against your heart.
And say,
"I love you, so much you must kill me now."

I love you
So much
You must kill me now.

If I was your vampire,
Certain as the moon,
Instead of killing time,
We'll have each other
Until the sun.
If I was your vampire,
Death waits for no one.
Hold my hands
Across your face,
Because I think
Our time has come.

Digging your smile apart
With my spade-tounge.
The hole is where the heart is.
We built this tomb together,
And I won't fill it alone.
Beyond the pale
Everything is black,
No turning back.

If I was your vampire,
Certain as the moon,
Instead of killing time,
We'll have each other
Until the sun.

If I was your vampire,
Death waits for no one.
Hold my hands
Across your face,
Because I think
Our time has come

Blood-stained sheets
In the shape of your heart,
This is where it starts...
Blood-stained sheets
In the shape of your heart,
This is where it starts.
This is where it will end.
Here comes the moon again.

6:19 and I know I'm ready
Drive me off the mountain.
You'll burn,
I'll eat your ashes.
The impossible wheels seducing
Our corpse.

If I was your vampire,
Certain as the moon,
Instead of killing time,
We'll have each other
Until the sun.
If I was your vampire
Death waits for no one.
Hold my hands
Across your face
Because I think
Our time has come.

Beyond the pale
Everything is black
No turning back.
Beyond the pale
Everything's black
No turning back.

This is where it starts.
This is where it will end.
Here comes the moon again.

This is where it starts.
This is where it will end.
Here comes the moon again.

Here comes the moon again

Here comes the moon again

TWILIGHT SUCKS! Emo Vampire Song
sikkbones


just because it's fucking cool.... Fuck Twilight.

Dead Souls.
sikkbones


I can't Feel a Goddamn thing.

Writer's Block: Let's stay friends
sikkbones
Do you stay in touch with your former romantic partners? Have most of your break-ups been amicable or messy?

let's not stay freinds, all my break ups have been miserable, and any time i try and reconnect the women turned into crazed pyschos...

?

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